Drowning

I’m down deep
Under the surface
Of the
Water
Of the 
Air
Of the
Interface
Between struggle and
Submission

I look around me at
The people who went down
With me
They start kicking
And paddling
And hoping
To get back to the surface

But I stay under
By myself
Up above I see crashing
I see legs
I see struggles
And desperation

But it’s peaceful down here.
I don’t struggle
I don’t breathe

Further down I seek and
Further the darkness engulfs me.
Until.
Darkness.

But, it’s okay.
I’m okay with the darkness.
At least it’s better than,
Struggling,

I am stuck in an ocean
There are violent waves and disastrous rips.
Crashing over me.
Pulling me in
And down.

Under the water I struggle to
Get back to the 
Surface.
To the air.
To the interface.
But I get pulled down
Or pushed down
Either way I am back under.

All around are others.
People who would prefer breathing.
But they breathe the water
And they gasp
They need air
But they only had water
And they gasp for air
Under here
Again and again
Like me

Slowly I am losing control
The air escaped my lungs and fills the water
But no one else can use it
I’ve wasted it
A single breath appears to be
The most rewarding thing in the world
But everyone continues to gasp
And grab at what little oxygen they can get
Above the crashing waves

I take one last breathe
I’ve given up.
I’m going under, again.
Under again
For the last time, again.

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